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About Varied / Student Member J-GothUnited States Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
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Can't run away from these demons,
they're too fast when they're hungry,
it's a cycle that presses its victims
under its thumb and they scratch
and wiggle, trying to escape,
and it continues.

Settling down and talking in sleep,
vintage posters on the peeling walls,
selling romance by plaguing anxieties
of the ones who have never known intense love,
and this paints an entire life,
in another little world, killing boredom.

Don't regret forgetting the world
for a few days, it was a wonderful way to pass the time.

Bitter © J-Goth/Amanda P.
~That Time Again~

I wish that I could fall asleep
And not wake up for the next ten years
Maybe the world would've already ended
So that I didn't have to watch it end

I think her name was...
Her eyes glowed like moonlight
Fear gripped my throat
She was the beast of my dreams
Preyed on my anxieties
Like a bird with its sharp talons

Never felt anything like it
Shook awoke by the pressure beneath her
Bled out into her wine sack
The beast was satisfied going into the morning and then all afternoon
Stayed with me until I opened my eyes
I would be empty without my terror

Dame © J-Goth/Amanda P.
~Intrusive Thoughts~

Bury the children standing up so they can grow up big and strong like an oak tree,
or so you used to say to get them to drink their milk.
you'll see some of those tiny hands holding sea shells,
bullet shell casings for others but we'll read about them somewhere.

The most heartbreaking truths are hardest to try and hide,
a mother's voice can mean pain if she brings grief but she won't leave,
or that Little Johnny found his dad's porn magazines too early
and lost his innocence before he could enjoy it.

It's getting cold now, it's time to shut the door,
I can't reach what I want but I can taste and feel it as though it were right here,
maybe it's the moon making me crazy but I held someone's hand last night,
now every feeling from now on will be a disappointment.

It's almost midnight and escapism is all I have to look forward to.

Intrusive Thoughts © J-Goth/Amanda P.

Helicopters fly over head like bothersome flies,
he's pulling knives out of his back like splinters,
and he really hates it when I don't say anything,
but all I can think about is preserving something fragile,
I am staring into space letting life happen without me.

The morning news is telling us that a storm is headed this way,
and blood tastes like pennies,
he's been walking around with holes in his back for a lot of years,
and he helps me through the fog on my worst days,
but I don't like what I see and I'm trying to wash it off...

It's not helping.

He fills me up where I am mended,
I'm finding it harder and harder to trust anyone
they've all given me very little reason to do so,
because they were looking for me out there,
and I can't escape the mundane.

Recovery © J-Goth/Amanda P.
I've been in a state of recovery for years over things I will never get over. The only thing keeping me here is the love I fabricated because I can't love myself and I can't trust anyone else to do it. 
soon. :)



Artist | Student | Varied
United States
I'm a collector. I collect emotions, experiences, and stories.

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Add a Comment:
JohnPatience Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014
Thanks for the fave  :)
J-Goth Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014  Student General Artist
Your work is incredible. I've never seen anything like it. You deserve many faves. Do you do commissions?
JohnPatience Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2014
Thanks very much indeed.
No I'm afraid I don't do commissions. I was a professional illustrator for about thirty years and worked to meet publishers requirements, now I'm retired and have only myself to please; I like it that way.  :)
J-Goth Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2014  Student General Artist
Ah! That's understandable. I would hate to wear out something I love to do and I feel like doing it to please people is something that would put me in that direction. I always ask a new artist I find if I could buy something from them to show my support. However, I think you have more experience and talent than I could afford so you're good. I'll just go on admiring what I see here. And thank you. 
(1 Reply)
MarCoFool Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014
Thanks for watching again :):hug:
J-Goth Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  Student General Artist
no problem! 
Death-by-Ink Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014
Thanks for adding a couple of my Steam Powered Giraffe drawings to your favourites! I really appreciate it!
J-Goth Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Student General Artist
You're welcome. You draw very well! :rose:
FoolSightBlind Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014
Thank you for the fave! :)
J-Goth Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2014  Student General Artist
You're welcome, dude ;)
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