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Script-Interactive

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You comforted me in times I needed an uplifting voice. You taught me how important being myself is to my growth as a person and you showed me that what I look like doesn't matter as long as I enjoy every day as it comes. You lived your life well and hard and with a lot of love and admiration in it and all your fans are going to miss you. I'm going to miss you. Thank you, David Bowie.
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Happy New Year!

2 min read
It's a new year full of new possibilities and new goals. I owe it to myself to be kind to myself from now on, that includes fully acknowledging the fact that my feelings are valid and when I say something that's true to me, it deserves to be regarded as an essential preference. 

My identity is my identity, no one gets to say that they only see me the way they want to see me because the image in your head when you're talking to me online is NOT me and you must understand that. I have reached the point where I'm not going to accept anything less than mutual respect regarding my self-expression and that includes pronouns and image.

I've been "alone" for the majority of my life and the times I did let people in to a point of considerable closeness have for the most part been failures and so I had to learn to be alone, I got better at being alone, and this year I will learn how to be more happy and content with being alone because it's not worth the upset to make friends on here or in school just for them to either drift from me or not respect my choices. 

Anyway, I hope every one of you had a good holiday, for those in school I wish you a good semester. This year is not a year for settling. 
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.

1 min read
You have to keep finding something to fight for...something to keep you here. Even when everyone around you is gone and it's just you, reach out for the world around you because chances are you're not the only one, and even if you can't find anyone you can't give up on yourself. You invested in yourself to get to that point in life, the least you could do for is soldier on to the end instead of doing nothing and just waiting for it.
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.

1 min read
I am young and life is long.
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Here I will post some of my best poems in one place for your convenience. I hope you all enjoy them, feel free to leave me some feedback, it would really mean a lot. Thank you for reading. 


Hollow~きょ~
So young and so used,
Don't stop, the world is watching,
They can't look away.
I am a coward,
I've seen things you won't believe,
I wish you would stay.
Try to convince you,
I made peace with who I am,
Deny who I was.
We cover our scars,
We take hits when we are bored,
They make us look good.
Not afraid to die,
Where will we be tomorrow?
Bear a sincere smile.
I taste only sin,
The night is our memory,
No fear of regret.
Smell the stench of death,
Burning in the lust of youth,
Breathing is shallow.
I glamorized suicide,
Brought stories from down under,
And I'm a hero.
~きょ~ © J-Goth/Amanda P.

Dirty~Dirty~
He wanted one taste
Flesh of dry wine summer fruit
Sins of a good man
Dark eyes held their gaze
Expression that made him weak
Beautiful theory
Shockingly returned
Spoiled for the lover he took
At their beck and call
Maybe he believed
It was real for the first time
Walked away again
Start over again
He wanted another taste
Promise addiction
Opened up for him
They carried the guilt for him
For another taste
Dirty © J-Goth/Amanda P.

The First Meeting~The First Meeting~
He was from the Midwest
so his face was pretty common
no one really noticed him
until he went out of his way to be unusual
He was the light to her darkness
he lit her cigarette in a Manhattan bar not long ago
he had to give himself a pep-talk so he could gather
enough courage to say hello
That's when it began to rain
people scrambled to catch cabs
a woman held her purse over her head
another had a man to hold her umbrella
He felt at home with the sound of the rain
as it collaborated with whatever was playing on the jukebox
her voice sang over them both
he wanted to capture that voice like a firefly
He let himself get lost in everything
it felt like they were subjects of observation
or as though they were both fantasies projected through her eyes
to test the limits of the imagination
It began as something just a tad more than casual
nothing hurt as good as they felt in each other's arms
he was the light to her darkness
the first kiss was like a shadow over the moon
T

White Crow~White Crow~
You decayed under my kiss,
my tongue caught between your teeth,
my lips wrapped around them as though flesh were there still.
Don't forsake me,
I feel my own mortal coil coming undone,
We're just kindred spirits who hoped to survive in a godless world.
If you earned your wings today, I wonder,
could you bear the cutting, pinching,
threading, pulling, bleeding, stitching,
pain that would be involved in attaching an angel's wings?
What did you think it would be like?
I bet you thought they would just sprout,
Nothing comes from nothing, we know,
It's a small price to pay to be able to wander in paradise.
I believe in god, you didn't have to, but I do
I didn't used to until I met you,
it helped me realize there had to be something controlling fate,
in the most unpredictable way.
Time did to your skin like cracks in porcelain,
Memories left a  messy trail in the heart,
They fought back strong when oppressed,
as they felt threatened that they would be forgotten.
I let go of

I'll Be~I'll Be~
I'm not leaving you,
You didn't leave me when I needed you,
I'll be right here until you recover,
I can't let go of you,
We've been through so little together,
Already we've grown so close,
Both life and death are hard to cope with,
I promise you that before you leave this earth,
you will find peace,
It's so hard to breathe with this pain in my chest,
I catch myself crying,
At the stains on your shirt,
I'll be right here,
I'll love you for as long as I can,
For as long as you need me,
Did we miss something?
When we met that day?
Was it all part of your plan?
We didn't know which direction to go at the crossroads,
You were there before I was,
Yet you still don't know the way,
I held a broken person in my arms and cried,
For everything I lost,
I admit that I've never been more at home,
I knew that you loved me enough to tear down that wall,
Showed the side of you that had been hidden behind years of abuse,
I see your eyes moving rapidly beneath the lids and know that you will m

Omega~Omega
The first and the last of the ignorant will dance in the blush,
How much does it take to humiliate them?
I love to torment them,
When they said  "God help me" they didn't mean me,
We went on playing this game,
I'm tired of these fucking rules,
I'm tired of being one of these needy sheep,
If I had any integrity would I stand a chance?
I was exhausted and disappointed that I couldn't satisfy my own demons,
I am the end all,
I will sit here, comfortable in the blush,
eating ladyfingers and chocolate,
The sound of the droning singing in the church,
Will keep me entertained for a while.
Omega © J-Goth/Amanda P.

New Love~New Love~
When I look at you,
I feel so many things,
A feeling of longing inches its way into my cold heart,
I ask myself so many questions,
Do I want you or do I want to be you?
I admire you from a distance, my world is at peace,
I think of what it would be like to touch your face,
To hold you in my arms and sing to you, to watch you sleep soundly,
To kiss you,
If I told you this, I know it would seem like a childish fantasy,
Like a teenager hopelessly infatuated with a crush,
I do love you, even though we're not the same,
The voices in my head told me that you were mine,
I believed them,
They were so beautiful,
But you will never be mine,
So jaded, yet kind,
You make me remember the days when I was of sound heart and mind.
New Love © J-Goth/Amanda P.

Lesser Being~Lesser Being~
You get more beautiful every time you look at me.
Your eyes, the most beautiful eyes, are always filled with tears.
I want to be near you. My strength and character are put to the test,
every time I see you.
I feel rotten. You reach into me and pull out everything that I try to hide.
I want to play the blame game, for everything that I am. The closer I get,
the farther away it seems.
I hold you close, like a child does her doll, and I'm battling the demons inside.
I'm often confused but one thing is always certain.
The way you smile. The way your skin feels. Only a fool would ignore such
perfection.
I lose my breath when your dress falls around your ankles, or did I
dream it? In my mind, everything is the same.
Dreams are real, and everything that is real, is a dream. You can't believe that
I live like this, but if you knew, you would understand.
The way you speak to me. I have never felt so human.  I feel. One can say that I feel more than anyone else.
I kiss
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Rest in peace, David Bowie. by Script-Interactive, journal

Happy New Year! by Script-Interactive, journal

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Highlight journal for some of my best work. by Script-Interactive, journal